Here's to future archives!

I've always had this feeling that I've been the same exact person for all my life. I know...that sounds like a very "duh...oh really?" statement on it's own so let me explain: Other people that I know a.k.a. Aaron, my sister Missy, my parents, brothers, friends...they'll talk about times in their pasts when they were "different people" know...young, dumb, reckless, wild, intense, dedicated, carefree, etc... They can look back with a comfortable detachment from their former selves. They possess a little thing called Perspective and have feelings of nostalgia when they remember that person they once were. I TOTALLLLY CAN'T relate. If I think back to five years old I think I had the same worry, care, caution, likes and dislikes that I have now. I've been in a lifelong state of complete and comprehensive awareness. The upside is a crystal clear memory...also an unflinching sense of self...The downside is a crystal clear memory and an unflinching sense of self.
And by that I mean...there has  never really been a break. I find myself feeling guilty about accidentally knocking my grandma's dentures off the sink when I was 9. I'll recall tiny conversations I had as an early or late teen and think " why did I say that when I know I meant to say this?"
 I've  just always felt so utterly Responsible.
Well I'm learning to drop that a bit now.
Above is a painting of me and Aaron. He painted it in 1999 and I believe in either January or February. I can guess the month because I know he was referencing a fairly freshly taken photo booth pic and if Aaron's in a turtle neck it was probably Christmas or New Years at the movies and our fave photobooth was in the theater lobby. I love it. He used a tiny black and white photo as reference material and set out to do a "vintagey, cottagey, folk arty, pastel colored  fun portrait."  I think he succeeded on all counts. And we look  almost EXACTLY the same now! (well except that Aaron no longer has hair.)  Well, I can look at the painting which is now eight years old and I can feel an inkling of Perspective. In the painting we had already been together for six years so it in no way marks our beginnings  as a couple, or as artists. We were knee deep in our creative career. At that time we were probably spending more time creating than we ever will again. We BURNED the midnight oil, we lit up the phonelines trying to make contacts, we drove thousands of miles in search of cool towns, antique stores, junkshops, etc... We were naive in all the good ways. We didn't second guess too much. And we never looked over our shoulders.
Well now I can look back at the eight years between then and now and depending on my mood it can feel like a million years or a minute.  There have definitely been some extremely rocky and devastating times between then and now but I'm starting to feel less bound by those times.  I used to let the past weigh me down. I used to think I'd some day have to rehash those roads I never fully finished walking. I've always described it as feeling heavy.
Well as quaint as it sounds, I may be starting to lighten up. I'm even a bit secure in knowing that I really have always been the same person. I mean, the color palette of the painting can't be coincidental. Over the years we have gone through full blown decor overhauls and now, right when I feel I'm pulling together a totally true decor identity I pull this painting out of storage and it's nearly an exact color match to my living room, dining room, current crafty creations etc...
And I have to say once again that I owe so much to this beautiful world of blogs. Being an artist is a day in day out process. It's like being in a constant state of reevaluation. The whole idea of: ' today's gotta beat yesterday, tomorrow's gotta beat today.' Well not necessarily "beat" but I hope that yesterday's experiences make today's better and today's make tomorrow's better. And blogs are this wonderful living illustration of that. There is nothing cooler than visiting your favorite blog and going way back into the archives. Have you guy's ever gone through all of 
Alicia''s awe inspiring how much she has accomplished creatively in that short span of time. So myblog here is just an infant and I dream of a day when I can scroll back and be wowed by all the stuff we've made and the people we met along the way...well I'm already wowed by the sweethearts I've met.  So I just wanted to share this painting with youall and all that it conjures in my head. Here's to future archives!!
Got some great new pics on the way!!
XOXO Jenny



  1. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this.  I can say without a doubt that having a blog has really challenged my creative process, and made me grow.  I used to be afraid to try new things or show anyone anything that I made for fear of rejection.  Not anymore!  I couldn't be where I am today without my blog.

  2. Love the portrait. Love it.  
    Looking forward to each entry.xo

  3. What a great picture.  It's always so interesting to look back and see what has changed and also what remains constant in us as artist and creators.   It's kind of neat to have a blog as a art journal of sorts to reflect back upon.  Like Beki said, I know for me, even in this short amount of time, my blog has helped me to be more daring in what I do.   I'm  always fearful of putting myself out there.  But nothing can be gained by not taking risks..........Also, I'm soo excited to get my picture that I ordered frm you!!!  I can't wait!  Karin aka creative chaos

  4. Wow! You and Aaron are not only great artists,but Jenny you are an excellent writer! Angelina

  5. Jenny............What a wonderful entry!  I thoroughly enjoyed it....even laughed out loud....tee...hee!  Yes, I can relate....I too have not changed inside either:)  I really like it though...maybe because I don't know any different.  I love your blog and really enjoy your artwork.  This portrait is GREAT!  and, although I don't know you, just from your photo at the top of your blog....I can see that you have not changed:)  Your sweetie did a fantastic job of capturing the essence of you two!  Thanks for visiting my blog.....I really appreciate all your kind words:)

  6. awesome painting! and very eloquently spoken words miss jenny! blessings,
    danielle {}

  7. And we are "In Wow" of you Miss Jenny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Oh Jenny... How I can relate.  I have been in the country with this man for 7 years...Still making strange vintage runs and being totally nurtured and immersed in art.  I started on my own at 17 and have not looked back.

    Now, about being the same person at 5 as now is totally the same for me. Some of the things that I myself found traumatic at 5, 6 &7 still get thought of every now and then. I have always noticed everything, nothing gets passed me, and sometimes ruins whatever I am doing.  I think I have unreal peripheral vision and nothing, nothing gets by me unnoticed.. Of course, this is to my own detriment. As, noone else sees the critter run passed in the restaurant but me. Noone else notices the guy sneeze on my debit card. Noone else sees my uncle pick his undies out of his cheeks and then serve dinner. Everyone laughs and accepts a cup of drinkables at a strange house. Not me. Yet, I think I am lightening up. But, more importantly, I think I am becoming accepting of me and what I need to do to make me comfortable. Very important here. I find myself easily saying, I have quirks, can I please tweak this before I use it...Etc.  I know you did not say you were paranoid, I am describing paranoid my incidents....But I understand -  I have the same cautious tone with things I do, etc. etc. I am coming across like I need to go stand in line with a golden ticket at the loony bin. Ha. Point: I get it, the lightening up part. Totally. and completely... Such enjoyable visits here.. Vanessa

  9. ps: I didn't realize my blog does not come up... I am hopping over to visit from,

  10. Cheers to you Jenny and Aaron! What a thoughtful and thought-provoking post. That painting is amazing and isn't it striking how one has similar tastes and style their whole life. Love that!! I love what you had to say about where you've been and where you are now. What a true artist you live your life in the most creative sense. You are such a joy! So glad that you blog, so glad to see a little piece of your world and hear a little piece of your heart. Keep being fantastic...but I know there is no other way that you could be:)
    xoxo SMILES!

  11. Wow,That painting is extraordinary!
    Archives,oh yes ,I know the joy of falling for a new (or atleast new to me) bloggy site and over the weeks savoring the archives! Because of my nutty X-mas decor obsession(practically the whole reason I started my place),if anyone has Dec. archives its a safebet I've peeked!
    Your place is definitely developing "a soul"its how I know I'm hooked!

  12. I always love reading your blog JEnny!  You are lucky to have "known "yourself for such a long time...some of us are in our 40's, and still trying to figure it out!  I do think that blogging is helping to find my niche, and it is wonderful to be able to share with like-minded people. Sometimes the friends or family that are not artsy, just don't get it, so it is nice to get an atta-girl from blog friends!!!
    Oh, and love the are both so talented!  Natalie

  13. I have always felt the same way about having always been exactly the same person.  I always thought it was like being born in reverse, being old when very young.  I always felt very heavy as well.  I started to lighten up when I got married.  As I continue to get older I feel I'm getting spiritually younger and lighter.

    I am so behind your creative accomplishments.  I am at the beginning of my business doing what I really want to do.  It's a crazy time of trying to put all of the pieces together.  I only hope that I will be able to look back in a few years and enjoy a similar success.

    And I love the painting.

  14. What a great post.  So does your husband do all the paintings on your blog?  or do you both do it?  I guess I always assumed it was you.  Such talents you two are and seem to be true kindred spirits.  I feel like I've been different people in my life too but I'm so happy with the life I'm living now.  It seems to me like you've accomplished a lot in the short time I've check in on you.  But I totally agree about blogging.. it's a wonderful way to document your crafting adventures but more importantly it's been a true blessing to me to have met such wonderful people.  It's like it's own little wonderful world.

  15. Amazing!!!
    What a beautiful portrait, you are so talented. I can't stop starring at it, because I know how hard it is to do portraits.
    The pink frame - another smaching detail, Love it...
    You gonna have great archives...

  16. he is very talented painting that!
    i love the artsy feel to it and it just has so much character :)
    it is very inspiring to look at but i think i'd need quite a bit of practice to get anythign looking HALF as nice

  17. You 2 are too cute!  Lovely painting and the colors are so wow!  I truly love your work.  Thanks for stopping by my blog.  I'm working up the nerve to join in on your vintage kitchen swap.  Sounds like too much fun!

  18. hey there!  I randomly saw your journal off of flickr, and just thought I'd say a hey as I really like this painting and I totally relate to what you said.  I've alway joked that I was older and more uptight when I was 5 than I am now, but really I've always been pretty much the same me.  kinda'.  lol  Anyway I just thought I'd say hey and introduce myself.  btw, I'm Bethany, and BethanyViolet on flickr. :)


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