Tuesday, May 6, 2014

We really really really miss you little baby Jack




Our sweet little Jack passed yesterday, so please forgive me if I ramble or if I don’t make much sense. I’m having a lot of trouble trying to make anything make sense at this point. Aaron and I are crushed. We are trying to go about our day but we keep getting stopped in our tracks. We just can’t make sense out of the fact that we won’t see and rub Jack’s little white belly ever again. It doesn’t make sense that we won’t see him spin around for us ever again. (which he did on command if you said those words quick and mashed together: ”spinaround!”)…and after a spin he’d be rewarded with his favorite thing in the world…a bite of pancake from our plate.
We keep looking over at his bed and we expect him to be curled up under the blankets like he always was. He loved snuggling up. He even had his own heating pad in the winter months. We’ve got pics of him on the desktop of the laptop and every time either one of us opens it we can’t help but click one of the photos open. He stares out at us from magnetic pics affixed to the door of the fridge. Aaron emptied the dryer today and in the load of laundry was Jack’s pillow and pillowcase. We had put the load in the dryer just before leaving for the vet so that when he came home he’d have a clean warm pillow to lie on or burrow under. But he didn’t come home from the vet. Instead we gave him a proper burial in Aaron’s parent’s yard, under a pear tree, in the company of our old cat Zoe, and Aaron’s childhood dogs.





Ok, I’ll briefly talk about his illness. It came on fast. What he had was kidney disease. Over the past few weeks he had been losing weight, but he didn’t really lose his appetite at first. Then he began to eat less of his dry food. So we’d do things like scramble him up and egg, or give him chicken and rice…which he’d eat heartily at first. Then it was about a week before our trip to Memphis…he even began to eat less of the eggs and chicken and rice. We were worried and we planned on taking him to see the vet the day after we got back from Memphis. In the meantime he would be over at Grandma and Grandpa’s…aka, Aaron’s parent’s house. He goes there when we go out of town. He loves the carpeting and the extra attention (since Carlos stays here at our house with Walt, Jack gets to be the spoiled only Grandchild for a week.) We called from Memphis to check on Jack and in the first couple days he ate OK, but he was lethargic…not his running around little self. Then on the final two days at Grandma’s he barely ate. 
We got home from Memphis, picked him up on Sunday and took him home. He was fairly weak and vomited the food his Grandparent’s had given him earlier. And I forgot to mention that for the past week and half his breath was bad. We didn’t know if it was just because he was excessively licking because he didn’t feel well, or if it was from lack of eating. So we brought him to the vet Monday afternoon, not super optimistic, but hopeful that we could solve his problems with treatment. After lots of tests it was determined that he was in kidney failure. The bad breath was due to toxins that his kidneys were not eliminating. The vet asked us if he drank excessively and we said we didn’t really think so. The vet agreed that it’s hard to tell with a little dog. He really didn’t go to his water bowl all that much, and he peed the normal seeming amount when he went out. Aaron’s dad noticed that Jack’s pee was very clear on the day before. That is a symptom of kidney failure. 
So, the vet told us the terrible news. She said that there really was no turning back from this point. In her career she had never seen a dog recover from this. If Jack was a human the only option would be a kidney transplant.
 We expressed how unbelievable this was. Because Jack was still trying to behave like his normal self. Aaron would call him and Carlos to go outside and Jack still fought from under his blankets, jumped out of bed and trotted to the door. In our front yard on the same morning that we had went to the vet Jack tried to walk around and show interest in sniffing the grass and the fire hydrant (yes, there happens to be a fire hydrant pretty much right in our lawn…we think the pups secretly had it installed.) Aaron even sat on the front steps, patted the top step, called Jack, and Jack was hesitant at first, but then he galloped up the steps and stood on the sun warmed bricks while Aaron gave him a back rub. 
A few hours later we’d be at the vet where we would be informed that this day should be his last if we wanted to spare him the extreme pain he was enduring. The little guy was a trooper. He never quit on us. We just keep saying “he tried so hard for us.” He tried to act and be normal, even though his body was completely failing him. He loved us that much. 
The vet was so gentle and kind and has Chihuahuas of her own. Plus, she is a family friend that Aaron has known since birth pretty much. Jack was curled up on Aaron’s lap for the final hour or two of his life, while I kissed his little face and told him how much I loved him over and over. He never even stirred during the process of passing from this life to the next. He gently drifted out of his body which was held by the two people who loved him more than anything in the world. 




Of course when an innocent little soul is taken from us like this there is awful sadness. And there is also guilt…which is a worthless emotion…but it is there nonetheless. Could we have missed earlier warning signs? Could we have prevented this? No one knows for sure. But questions like those don’t do you any good. 




Jack was so much more than his little body. He was an energy, a spirit, a smile, and a perpetual ray of sunshine. We feel like he was the embodiment of our love for him…if that makes any sense. We’re not sure what comes first…our love for him…or who he is. We almost feel as if our emotions conjured the little guy into existence. He was the love we were looking for…and the universe brought him to us. 
And now, his body is gone. But that love is here stronger than ever. We will not let it fade. We will not do him the injustice of letting his energy dissipate. The little boy worked so hard to make us happy and if we abandon that it’s sacrilege. 

We only had Jack for less than four years. We found him on Craig’s List…here’s a link to that story from July 2010.  It seriously was love at first sight. He was exactly the dog we were looking for…but we didn’t know it. He slid right into our schedule, right into our home. He was buddies with Carlos but there were also hierarchy issues. Carlos was Alpha but Jack liked to throw in a challenge every so often. But Carlos absolutely loved Jack. He loved being the leader of the pack. When they went outside Carlos would almost act like a sheep dog and corral Jack back inside when they were done with their business. Carlos would eat first while Jack stood inches away crying a little whimpering cry, and then when Carlos was through eating it would be Jack’s turn. And Jack wouldn’t have it any other way. We even gave them their own food bowls but Jack wouldn’t touch his…he’d only cry and wait for Carlos to finish.

Jeeez, I can tell a million pup stories. We all can. 

What I want to say most is that Jack was ALL GOOD. He only brought goodness to our life. And tons of it. We only spoke to him like he was an itty bitty baby. He never ever got into his bed without us tucking him in. Five times a night he’d make Aaron re-tuck him in. His bed was on the floor directly next to where Aaron’s head was. Jack would manage to uncover himself in the night, several times, and each time he’d let out his little whimper, telling daddy to tuck him in again. If necessary Aaron would do it a hundred times a night without complaint.

We were outside today with Carlos, and it’s obvious that he’s wondering where Jack is. He keeps smelling the spots where Jack frequents and it makes us sad. Carlos loved being the boss of that little guy…but he was a super gentle boss. 
We are not looking to get another pup anytime soon. But we do think that it would be good for Carlos. We know how much more fun the day is for Carlos if another dog is around. Carlos is an older gent and we knew that Jack kept him young. So, getting another pup is pretty much a sure thing. We just don’t know when.


Just out of curiosity I pulled up dog listings on Craig’s List today. Me and Aaron scrolled through just looking at the pups. At one point Aaron couldn’t contain his emotions. He said as we were looking through the listings he was hoping to see the listing for Jack all over again. He wanted to adopt Jack again…just like we did four years ago. Aaron’s not nuts (well maybe a little) but he doesn’t believe in time travel. It’s not like he realistically thinks he can go back and adopt Jack all over again…but that’s what his heart wants to do more than anything in the world. And I didn’t have to think about it for one minute…I feel exactly the same way. I want to come across that pic of Jack, standing there in the grass, his adorable eyes looking up at the camera, his little tail a blur because he’s wagging it so fast…and I want to adopt that little guy all over again. I LOVE all pups…but right now my heart only wants to take Jack home with us all over again. The keyboard is tear soaked at this point. It’s a childish wish and me and Aar both know it. But it’s such an honest wish, and we feel it right down to our bones. We remember the day first brought him home in vivid detail. We remember each day with him over the next four years just as clearly. He was our baby.



I know this is so so long. I just had to get this out. It hasn’t even been 24 hours. Our emotions are all over the place. We keep telling ourselves that we are not going to cry any more…but that is an impossible vow to keep. Aaron put Jack’s freshly laundered pillow in Jack’s bed. Aaron also came into the living room with a little Jack talisman…it’s a sunshine yellow vintage stuffed bunny, and he’s wearing Jack’s favorite shirt and the harness that we took him home in on the first day we met him. We never replaced that old harness as worn as it was. Jack loved it. The bunny, wearing Jack’s shirt and harness is sitting on Jack’s favorite chair across the living room from us. Next to it is the sweet card the vet gave us with Jack’s paw print stamped in ink above the story of the Rainbow Bridge. Seeing these things make us laugh and cry all at the same time. 


Speaking of the Rainbow Bridge…we have a personal experience. As you know, we had been in Memphis for an art retreat last week. On the flight home we had the rainbow experience. We were landing in Newark, NJ and the evening sun was just setting behind the horizon. In our final descent we flew directly though a rainbow. I took a video of it out the window. It was so beautiful. One odd thing is that not a single other passenger on the plane reacted to it. It was as if only Aaron and I could see it. The day after that rainbow, Jack crossed the Rainbow Bridge. We know in our hearts that we flew through Jack’s rainbow…and that he waited for us to arrive back home before reaching the point of no return. I don’t want to remember him sick. I want to remember the spritely young boy whose eyeballs would widen at the mention of Pancakes. But also, I’ll never forget Jack’s last walk around our front yard on the morning of his passing. The weather was stellar and his white coat was glowing in the sun. He was squinting and basking, soaking up the all the life and warmth he could. Me and Aar stood at opposite ends of the yard and Jack looked back and forth at each of us…and just like we always did, we waved at him…a little tiny cutesy wave…one of those squishy waves that you do when you look at a baby.  This was what he was accustomed to seeing. We waved to him all day every day, and he seemed to know exactly what it meant. We think he knew exactly how much we loved him. He must have. He treated us better than we could ever have wished to be treated. He gave us every single thing he had….and we gave him all of our love…every drop.

I’d love to drop back in and blog about Jack again if you’ll let me. Our emotions are extremely raw at this point and I’d love to write more when we’ve gained some more perspective. 

One last thing…we started a page in a notebook today and it helped us out a lot. We wrote down every nickname we ever used for Jack…there are more than a dozen…and we wrote down all of the special terminology we used with him every single day. We had our own Jack lingo. The lingo and the nicknames are all silly, and it’s possible they could be forgotten over time. We wrote them down because we don’t ever want to forget them.

Ok, that’s all for now. Hug your pups and kitties tight for me. If you have a Chihuahua, kiss it on it’s salty bulbous eye…Jack loved that to bits…and we loved it even more.

Thanks for reading, 
xo Jenny & Aaron

76 comments:

  1. oh jenny, this made me sob. how lucky was jack to have you guys -- and vice versa. my chi died at about 7-8 years old from kidney failure too -- I drove myself nuts wishing I had known sooner. This is a lovely tribute. xoxoxox to you guys and Jack. Carlos too!

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  2. So very sorry for little Jack, what a bright light he was. Sending lots of love your way,may he be forever in our hearts...xo

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  3. Oh my gosh. I made the mistake of reading this at work--thank goodness all my co-workers are home for the day and I'm the last one here. *tears*
    You guys, my heart hurts. :(

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  4. Oh my sweet friends we too lost our boy to kidney failure and we had the same questions as you do, if I caught it faster? did we feed him something bad, If ony... my heart is breaking for yall. We were lucky enough to have Cody for 8 years, it still was not long enough, he was our baby, our boy we do not have children so our Cody was our boy, We had no desire to get another dog it would feel like we were replacing him, but we did, Lee my hubs has a lot of health issues and slipped into a depression with no reason to get up in the mornings after Cody passed, He left us in Lees arms and I was kissing him and crying, oh Lord it is so hard even months later, we found Charlie on craigslist and though we still miss Cody everyday we love our little Charlie. Many hugs my sweet friends.

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  5. I am so sorry, Jenny and Aaron! You were luck to have Jack and he was so very luck to have you two. Blowing you a kiss......

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  6. Jenny, my heart breaks for you and Aaron.my Chaney is thirteen and beginning to slow down which scares me to dearth because I don't know whar more is to come, I'mot prepared to lose him anytime soon, all I can do is rake it day b day

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  7. This is so sweet and heartbreaking. I know little Jack was the most loved little dog there was.

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  8. My heart aches for you two. I'm so sorry and I can't even imagine. I have a teacup chihuahua and I love her more than anything. We've had her almost 2 years and she's everything to my husband and I too. I read your blog and looked at Jacks pictures and I think about if I were to lose my Lila, and I couldn't imagine. I will snuggle her and kiss her while thinking of your precious Jack.

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  9. Oh honey... I am so sorry ... sending hugs and prayers to you and Aaron......

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  10. I am so sorry for your heartaches. I know how an animal can become part of the family and become a part of your heart. You are so blessed to have some wonderful memories that you've shared for the time that you were given together. ((HUGS))

    Danielle

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  11. Ohmygoodness. I am so sorry for your loss. He was just the cutest little thing I cant help but smile when I look at his pictures! My heart is aching for you guys, it's amazing how an animal becomes just another person in your family. The rainbow story was amazing, I would've been freakin out too! So cool. Prayers headed your way ;) xo

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  12. My heart breaks for you two, I know how it feels! We've lost two kitties ourselves. I wish I could give you hugs, but instead I'll just send my love.

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  13. My heart breaks for you.. I will kiss and hug all our sweet animals tonight. <3

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  14. I'm so sorry for your loss! I still tear up when I think about losing our little Millie. One thing I did that helped was packing some of her treasures, along with the sympathy card from the vet, into a special box of remembrance. It will take a while to adjust, give yourself lots of time. Hugs!

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  15. My heart is crying for both of you. I love you both!

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  16. Jenny and Aaron, I am so, so, sorry for your loss. Your stories of Jack are so special and I ache for your loss. He was so cute and I always loved seeing him on facebook inside a box or a pile of peanuts! Hugs to you, Aaron, and Carlos((((♥))))

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  17. Oh how I grieve with you my sweet friends. I wish I could be there to cry with you and hug you. You keep writing and crying because there's no way around it. Just keep looking forward to our rainbow bridge day when we will be reunited with our babies who gave us so much unconditional love. I love you both!

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  18. My heart is with you both...and with little Carlos, too. Be strong & hold tight to all the good times with little Jack...he knew he was loved dearly...and still is.
    xo
    ===^..^===

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  19. I hate that this happened but I love the story you've shared and hope that sharing it at least helps with the healing process for you both (and Carlos, too!). My only 'baby' has four legs so I feel for you so, so much. Mostly I am grateful that you all had each other...Jack's time here was perfect thanks to you and Aaron. Sending big hugs from the OG to you!! xo

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  20. So sorry to hear about sweet Jack, what a pal. My heart goes out to y'all.

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  21. I have a chi-child myself who will be 13 this fall. I think my family will have to bury me with her when the time comes. I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you.

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  22. I am so very sorry for your loss! Deepest sympathy and hugs to you both, and all the other hearts touched by your fur baby. xxoo

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  23. I am so sorry to hear about Jack. We lost a dog a few years back from antifreeze poisoning... it was like losing a family member.

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  24. Jenny, we lost our Bronco-doggie almost a year ago and I still miss him every single day, so my heart hurts for you & Aaron. :( You gave Jack the gift of so much love and happiness and every dog should hope to be as lucky as he was! I'm so sorry for your sadness and wish you both peace and comfort.

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  25. I am so sorry for your loss. I cried reading your post, but I am glad you shared it. I still miss my Malcolm (chihuahua/chinese crested mix) every day no matter how many years go by. And as a mom to my own Jack (a funny black pug mix), I called him into the room and gave him a kiss on his little fuzz head. Your Jack knew he was loved, and he'll always be part of your family.

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  26. I am so sorry for your loss. I cried reading your post, but I am glad you shared it. I still miss my Malcolm (chihuahua/chinese crested mix) every day no matter how many years go by. And as a mom to my own Jack (a funny black pug mix), I called him into the room and gave him a kiss on his little fuzz head. Your Jack knew he was loved, and he'll always be part of your family.

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  27. I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  28. *Sobs* I'm so heartbroken for you Jenny & Aaron *wipes off tears* Your sweet Jack was such a funny little guy and always made me laugh when you showed pictures or videos of him on fb. I wonder what age he was, because he still looked so young, much too young for a kidney desease. When my beloved kitten LV died in a terrible accident, I couldn't believe it and couldn't stop crying for days so I understand very well how you both feel right now. The only thing that really made it easier to get over it was getting a new kitten a few weeks later, but we'll never forget our sweet LV and the unconditionnaly love he gave us. Our Riley is a total different character but we love him none the less. Our pets are family, yes they are like our babies and so it hurts enormously to let them go. Oh well I think I better stop babbling since it will not make you feel any better. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your misery and that it will get easier day by day. xoxo~ Carola

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  29. I'm so sorry. Amazing that just a few days ago at the art retreat we could have talked about anything, but ended up talking about little Jack playing in the grocery bags. Precious friends, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  30. I'm so sorry… sweet little baby. He was so lucky to have you, and vice versa, if only for a short time. I hope you continue to find comfort in his memory; he sounds like he was such a special little guy. Lots and lots of endless love to you two.

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  31. I'm so sorry to hear about Jack. Sending hugs to you both for this difficult time.

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  32. I am so sorry to read this, and my heart goes out to you both. All I can say is, remember the sweet times and his beautiful energy! A big hug to you both!

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  33. This made me cry too. I know exactly the love you are talking about and I know the heartbreak as well. I'm so sorry you lost your little boy. Rest in peace, Jack.

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  34. Oh I'm so very sorry to hear about Jack's passing on. And yes, please go blog more about your sweet lil fella!
    I def understand where you both are... Our dear cat, Millie, who we rescued 15 years ago is heading down the same road... Heartbreaking like you said. Every day is a gift..... What a peaceful passing for Jack... A gentle pure soul deserves at least that! My love and sympathy to you, Aaron and Carlos.

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  35. I'm so very, very sorry, Jenny and Aaron. What a beautiful tribute to your friend. <3

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  36. OH! My heart hurts for you! I have lost several pets over the years and it just HURTS! After I lost my last two cats to smoke inhalation (house was gutted by a fire) I cried WAY WAY more for them than anything else lost to the fire...all that was just "stuff", but not my precious ones. That was over 10 years ago and I couldn't bring myself to get another pet... I don't like the kind of hurt that comes when a pet dies. So, again, I am soooo sorry.

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  37. My thoughts are with you and I'm shedding tears for you both. As a huge animal lover and advocate - I share in your pain. When I lose one of my dogs - I really try and focus on all the beautiful days I was able to give them and that does help a bit - even though right now it's too raw for you. Just know there are many people out there lending a thought to you all today.

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  38. Shedding a quiet tear for you here, a beautiful post for a beautiful pup.

    When these special animals go they take a piece of you with them, but they also leave behind a piece of themselves which you'll hold in your hearts forever....

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  39. I'm so sorry. I just wish I could hug all three of you and make everything better. Our sweet little pets save us as much as we save them. I found my Yankee Jane kitty in a dumpster about a week after I moved away from all of my friends and family. She was filthy, covered in fleas, and so wild and fierce. She was about 3 weeks old.She was my best friend for 14 years and I still miss her so much.She has been gone almost two years. Jack will always be with you in your hearts and I know he is running around heaven right now sniffing and jumping and being his happy, silly Jack self. Love to you. xoxoxo

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  40. OMGEEZY!! I saw the title of your post and just lost it. I have spent the last year and a half loving Jack thru your pics and stories, and I can say I know what you're going thru. I am so so so sorry for your loss of sweet Little Jack, and please know that you're not alone in your love and loss of your sweet, sweet fur baby. I can only tell you my warm wishes and (((((hugs))))) are making their way to you. No b.s. platitudes or anything like that, just my heartfelt sympathies.

    I think I can say that we all are going to miss seeing Jacks little face and hope, when you're able, that you will share more Jack pics and stories.

    Love you guys

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  41. So sorry about little Jack! It's so hard to lose a member of the family like that, and poor Carlos must be missing him and wondering where he is.

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  42. Awwwww - I am so very very sorry to hear of your loss! Little Jack looked like such a treasure and your stories of him are so heartwarming. I lost my constant companion Fred the Bassett last July and I know how overwhelmingly hard it is to see them go! How wonderfully your life and his were enriched by each other - sending love, sympathy and hugs, Patricia xxxx

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  43. Your heartfelt tribute to Jack brought me to tears. I know exactly how your hearts ache, as I have walked this path many times. May your rich tapestry of memories serve as a balm to heal your broken hearts.

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  44. You have my deepest sympathy. I am crying right now. We lost our puppy (Georgie) of 14 years just over a year ago - he passed on my birthday. Wasn't planning to get another puppy right away, but our daughter (12 at the time) just couldn't stop crying. Well, as fate would have it, we did come across a puppy who just had to come home with us. Ollie has brought so much joy and some days he is the only one who can bring a smile to my face. We love him so. Yesterday I came across some photos of Georgie and every time I look out my kitchen window I think of him. We purposely laid him to rest in my view so I could look out over him. You have to love animals to understand how they become part of you and your family. Most importantly, how much they can love you in return. Hugs, Marsha

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  45. Ditto what everyone's said above. It's so hard to say goodbye to such a wonderful creature!

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  46. Jenny I am so sorry for your loss. We have a cat we love dearly so I feel the fur baby love. I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your baby so soon. I love all the photos you shared of your sweet little guy.

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  47. "Nights are long since you went away,
    I think about you all through the day,
    My buddy, my buddy, no buddy quite so true.
    Miss your voice, the touch of your hand,
    Just long to know that you understand,
    My buddy, my buddy, your buddy misses you."

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  48. I am so sorry for the loss of little Jack. My heart hurts for you. I hope you find comfort in all of the love that you gave him and the love he surely felt for you.

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  49. Oh my gosh Jenny, my heart breaks for you! I am crying at my keyboard. I can't even imagine losing one of my pups, and I hope you and Aaron keep holding onto the happy times as you go through this difficult time. Sending you so much love!!

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  50. I am hugging my CaliGirl chihuahua as soon as I write this note for you both. Jack will always be with you....

    "“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.”
    ― Anatole France

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  51. So very sorry for your loss!! It hurts soooo much. Los of Love ♡

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  52. So sorry for the loss of little Jack-sadly you're the second person i've heard of this wk that lost a dog to the same thing. time heals the hurt but you never forget~he knew he was loved.

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  53. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Pets are so much more than "just pets". They are members of the family and their loss is felt just as much as losing a human member. You go right ahead and blog as much as you want/need to about Jack and Carlos. Grief knows no time limit.

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  54. Jenny, this is absolutely beautiful and so heartbreaking. I'm so very sorry for your loss. <3

    xox Sammi
    www.thesoubrettebrunette.blogspot.com

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  55. Oh Jenny and Aaron, I am so sorry and saddened to read about your beautiful little Jack. I know how you feel, and how much this hurts, for we lost our beautiful little cat to kidney failure, 10 weeks ago tomorrow. It hurts, and will always hurt. The love we had for that little fellow went very deep. We were with him right to the very end, when he died, gently, in my arms. He is alive and always will be alive - in my heart, in my memories of him, and our love for him. He always knew and sensed how very much he was loved - just as your beautiful little Jack knew. Hold on to that love, and all those loving memories and those funny and adorable little things he did, and all the nicknames you gave him (we did the same, as well as making up song parodies with him and his antics as part of the lyrics)...he will always be with you, and will never be gone or too far away from you, or your heart. I know it hurts. I know you are both heartbroken. I am, too. And I know I always will be heartbroken, for I loved him so. I will always love him. Just as you will always love your beautiful little Jack. Please take care, and be kind to yourselves. There is a new book that was just published a few days ago, called 'Healing Pet Loss,' by Marianne Soucy. When you're ready, you might want to read it together, It has helped me...although what I really want, I can't have - my little baby B back here with us.

    With much love to you both, and with a heavy haert. June

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  56. That's so sad. I'm so sorry. I've been there with the same kidney failure with my 1st Yorkie. I can just tell you to get another pup as soon as you can. I waited and it was a mistake. The mourning period is so gut wrenching. A new baby puppy helps that process along so much. The hole left in your heart can only be mended with another dog. I'm so glad you had Jack in your life. And now it's probably time for you to give another puppy a wonderful home. Best of luck in your search.
    big hugs♥,
    Caroline

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  57. I am so very sorry about your beloved little Jack going to Rainbow bridge...You can talk about him all you want. Our fur--babies give us unconditional love with kisses...
    warmly,
    deb

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  58. I am so sorry :( I have never lost a pet (yet) but can't and don't want to imagine how hard that time will be.

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  59. Oh Jenny & Aaron! I am sobbing and wiping my tears as I type this! I am so sorry for your loss!! I truly know exactly how you feel. Your beautiful words moved me more than you can imagine. You all are in my thoughts and prayers <3

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  60. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking in two as I write to you! My husband and I have a Boston Terrier, 3 years old named Charlie. You described with perfection the love we have for Charlie and the love he has for us. I cannot even fathom what you are going through. God speed.

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  61. Jenny and Aaron - my heart is breaking for you after hearing of little Jack's passing. He was the cutest little bug and I fell in love with him the minute I saw his pictures. You were the best Mommy and Daddy Jack could ever have wished for. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers. Take Care and "kisses" and "love" to Carlos too!

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  62. This is absolutely the most beautiful post I've ever read on a pet's passing I have ever read (and I'm including my own in here) .... my very deepest empathies!

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  63. I'm so sorry for your loss! Please don't blame yourself. It's always hard to notice if a pet is really ill or just temporarily feeling unwell. My cat died of a heart disease, while I thought he was loosing weight because of more exercise. Like your Jack he didn't show that he was in any pain. I felt heartbroken for quite some time, but it helped me to write about him and to go through old pictures. Jack sounds like a wonderful dog and you gave him a great home! The happy memories will stay with you. I wish you all the best, take care.

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  64. Sorry to hear your beloved pet has passed. Sending you some healing internet vibes your way guys. Take care. :)

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  65. I don't know what to say... I have to admit this was an extremely difficult post to read. I lost my dog boy 22 months ago and he's become the stuff of legends around here... :)
    I pray you find peace.my deepest sincerest condolences to you and your family .
    Marfi

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  66. Oh Jenny and Aaaron my heart broke when I read about little Jack's passing. I've been crying ever since and I too fell in love with hiim the first time I saw his sweet little face. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm grieving with you and hope someday you can find another little guy to bring home to fill the void Jack has left in your hearts and to bring you newfound love. And for sweet Carlos too - he must be so lonely now without his little brother. Give him lots of kisses from me and big hugs to you and Aaron.

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  67. What a good old dog. They really are our fur babies. I lost my dog last year and our family was devastated. I still occasionally cry and I look at her grave often and tell her I love her. When you have the fortune of getting a truly good dog, you remember them forever.

    Vintagehoneybee.blogspot.com

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  68. Jenny and Aaron,

    I just had a very hard, nose blowing cry with you and for you. I've experienced all of what you have written about so eloquently. My cat Mimi had to be put down because of kidney disease in 2001. My vet came to the house and when she was wrapping her up to take her out in the towel she had laid on, my vet said, "I'll treat her little body with dignity". I broke down then and am sobbing now even thinking of it. Jack was a gift to you from God. I often think that those of us who love our animals so are blessed with a special communication with those little creatures. A special blessing from God. Your Jack was quite a handsome boy. I cherished every minute of your post because I know what it feels like. Thank you for sharing those pictures of your boy which, especially now, are so precious and priceless. I would be delighted if you shared more about Jack. It would be an honor to read it. Proverbs 12:10 says "The righteous man cares for the life of his animal..." I believe he's with Jesus romping and playing, free from kidney disease. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your best friend. Hugs, Love, Prayers and Deepest Sympathy to you, Aaron, and Carlos too. Animals grieve as well and he's missing his buddy. I believe it helps to tell them all about what happened and comfort them. I know you understand what I'm saying.

    Love and Prayers,
    Loretta M.

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  69. Dear Jenny & Aaron:

    My heart goes out to you both as I read this as I too experienced two passings of my cat and dog a year ago, just three shy weeks apart. I still cry when I think of them and I know what you mean, they give us all unconditional love and never, ever ask for anything in return but love. Hang in there, I wish I could tell you it will get better, but not before it gets a tad worse. The best thing you can do for Jack is exactly what you are doing, remember him as he was, try to soak up and still feel the love and someday he will be standing there, at the bridge, waiting for your arrival. Until then, take care and peace be in your hearts today and always. Much love.

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  70. My deepest sympathy on your loss Jenny and Aaron. Please don't second guess yourself, you did what you could. We lost a cat suddenly last year and of course we "what if'd." He had such a loving home, with people who loved him dearly and will remember him always. There's no greater way to honor the love he gave you than to know that he had such a good life with you two.

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  71. Heartbroken for you both, and for Carlos. I lost my dog last year to Pythium, and like Jack he just never came home from that last trip to the vet. I know that there are no words that can make it okay, and that only time can heal that heartbreak that you are both feeling. Don't rush the process, but also know that sharing all that love you had for Jack with another dog can certainly help. I adopted Hamlet from our local kill shelter about 6 weeks after Milo died. Knowing that I had saved a dog from being PTS sleep definitely helped me heal a little bit. Perhaps a new dog will also help Carlos to heal too.

    Sending you lots of love, I'll be thinking of you all.

    Tabby
    - www.glitterinthequarter.com

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  72. New to site, was wanting to say to you how very sorry I'm for your loss, I just do not know how I will handle that day, I have been thinking recently on such a subject, My baby is 12. I was wondering would it help you and your other baby to maybe adopt I know it seems so soon but they is always a beautiful animal waiting for some one to love them. You both seem such the perfect pet parents.

    My prayers are with you, so very sorry for your loss!
    Caroline

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  74. Oh, I'm so sorry. You have written so beautifully about what it's like to be a chi parent. I also have a chi and I can't imagine how I will get through the leaving time. I've been through many pet leavings in my life--it never gets easier, never. But know that you will feel better. Thank you and please tell us more Jack stories (Carlos too). God bless.

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  75. I am so so sorry. Jack was blessed to have you two for his people, I know he loved every minute of his life with you. {{{hugs}}}

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